I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize