im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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