apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
