How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
