i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
