the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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