It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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