dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
