My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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