My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
