so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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