Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
