Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
