: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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