of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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