idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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