I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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