I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
