Pants 0. Shit 1.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
