Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize