Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I stole a fireplace last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
