accomplished twins. life is a go
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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