And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
