She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
God, I missed his penis.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
