i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
