Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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