never play flip cup with pint glasses
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
