I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
