grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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