mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize