EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
