Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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