Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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