i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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