whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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