How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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