Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
