yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize