Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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