My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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