mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
