So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
