saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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