please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
