weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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