and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
