Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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