jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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