You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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