he puts the penis in happiness.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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