Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
