just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
