Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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