i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
