did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
