she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How external is "for external use only"?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize