So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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