Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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