i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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