best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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