she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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