I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
