I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
