The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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