They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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