Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
