I heard we made out
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
